I
Rev. Sue
Where
Two or Three Are Gathered…
…there’s
bound to be disagreement. Now
I know that is not what Jesus said in the familiar scripture verse. Matthew 18:20 reads, “For where two or three are gathered
in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”
These words, which come on the heels of a description of how we are
to deal with conflict and disagreement in the life of the church, are a
wonderful reminder to us of the power we have access to when we gather as
people of faith. But, first
we must deal with the conflict and misunderstandings that are a reality
whenever human beings interact with one another.
Living together, whether we are talking about being part of a
family or a faith community, is seldom easy.
One of the requirements for
living in community is being able to work and play well with others.
When my husband and I were first married and living in a small
apartment at the seminary I was attending, we wanted a pet.
Since a dog was not an option, we ended up with a fish tank.
As we carefully chose fish for our aquarium, I discovered that one
had to pay close attention to whether the fish were labeled “C” or
“NC” because the two types of fish could not be placed together.
You see, “C” stood for “Community” and “NC” for
“Non-Community” ~ “Non-Community” fish were aggressive and would
eat those fish that were of the “Community” variety.
Surely, attacking and eating one another is not an option for those
desiring to live together, whether we are talking about fish, families or
faith communities.
In Matthew 18, Jesus spells out
how we are to handle things if we are wronged by someone else in the faith
community. We are instructed
to approach the person one-on-one and see if we can come to an
understanding. If that does
not work, we are to take one or two others with us ~ persons we trust and
who understand the delicate nature of the situation ~ to dialogue with the
offender. If the person
refuses to listen, then the church is to become involved, and if the
offender is still unmoved, then “let such a one be to you as a Gentile
and a tax collector.”
Some faith communities have used
these words of Jesus to legitimate such practices as shunning and
excommunication. Let me
invite you to think of them in another way, remembering that Jesus spent
his ministry reaching out to the likes of Gentiles and tax collectors,
ever seeking to draw them in. Also,
just preceding this passage of scripture in Matthew 18 is the parable of
the lost sheep, in which a shepherd leaves his flock of 99 sheep to search
for the one that is lost, because the lost one matters, and returning that
sheep to the fold safely is of great importance.
Jesus is, and always has been, one who seeks to include, not
exclude.
Living and loving in community
is not easy. A favorite folk
art poster of mine depicts two dogs tugging on opposite ends of a rope.
Underneath the picture are the words “Love is give and take.”
Yes. If we are going
to succeed at living together in ways that are loving and in ways that are
pleasing to God, then give and take is essential.
Whenever I find myself in
conflict with someone or at odds with another member of the community,
there is a question I ask myself: What is more important ~ being right, or
being in relationship? Almost
always I conclude that being in relationship is more important.
I am not suggesting that we abandon what matters most to us or
compromise the values that are at the core of our being, but rather that
we “choose our battles,” aware that much of what we expend our energy
arguing over or fighting about is not all that significant in the larger
scheme of things.
Under girding all our efforts to
live and work peaceably together is the awareness that without God’s
help and without prayer, we will fail miserably.
I am quick to urge folks who are at odds with another person to
pray for that person, because what I have discovered is that it is
impossible to hate someone and pray for him/her at the same time.
And when all is said and done,
when it comes to living and working together as people of faith, the
assurance that Jesus is with us when we gather gives us access to both
power and hope the world around us simply cannot offer. We may disagree and we may struggle. There may be conflict and misunderstanding.
But, if we believe that Jesus is with us and allow him to touch our
hearts and change our minds, amazing things can and do happen.
Rev. Dr. Sue Bertolette
September 13, 2008
Rev. Ryan